Sleep. What I spend most of my days doing, the only salvation I retain in this everlasting world of agony. As I slowly slip deeper and deeper into a craze, shaken not stirred, I find it comforting to know that no matter how bad the day or how slow the rise I will always find my way back to the abyss. That and my soft pillows are my only comforts these days. The few moments I share with friends are in awkward silence as I try to comprehend the people around me. The ones I know as friends seem like strangers more and more as contact with them wanes. I calculated something wrong along the path, of that I am sure. Everything was sprawled out in front of me, every tiny detail down to the last nail meticulously studied and analysed. Did I forget to carry the one? Write a 9 where I should have placed a 6? Tapped the wrong key on the calculator? No way to be sure, no need to be either. I am sure of one thing, that is all I need to be sure of. This certainty is that of futility in itself, however. Not a day passes that I don't question the meaning of all I do and all that happens. Would it be better just to 'sleep' for eternity?

Cross. A simple mark can mean a lot of things. Incorrect, failure, treasure, here, no, x, unknown... The list continues. And with every right, a single mark does not need to mean a simple idea. I wear a cross around my neck these days. Not for the praise of some deity, but for the aesthetic gain of having some silver hanging freely and visibly on my person. I think it looks cool, and so do others. But the one thing they always ask is "Are you a Christian?" A question to which I always reply "No. I am not."

The eternal darkness. What do you see when you close your eyes? A memory, painful or otherwise? A person, friend, lover or even stranger? What I see is dependant upon the level of light behind my eyelids. Sometimes I see red, other times a warm orange. It varies from solid black all the way to a bright yellow. What significance does this hold, you ask? None at all. Did I say it needed to hold any? All I am saying is that I see no image. No person, no memory. No place or time. All I see is darkness. And that is all it truly is.

Now I could go on further about what I see when I close my eyes but it is getting pretty irrelevant to the point I am trying to make, which is actually pretty irrelevant as well. I am bored.